Deep Breathing

I feel like hyperventilating everytime I think about Jon having that surgery....sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad! On one hand it's exciting to think about a potential cure, on the other hand the thought of him going through the procedure and the long recovery is almost more than I can stand. Jon and I have been talking about how "comfortable" we've become with our routine of chemotherapy. Just plodding along each week, knowing what to expect, which days will be good or bad. I thought we'd have more time to prepare for this eventuality but I have to remember that there is a small window where the cancer has shrunk enough to make surgery an option, yet the patient is strong enough to survive the surgery. It appears that Dr. Chue thinks that window is now. This is it, the time find out whether this cancer is indeed curable or not. Either way it will give Jon the best chance for a cure or long-term survival.

Jon takes all this in stride. When I share my thoughts with him he reminds me that there's a 30% chance chemo won't shrink the tumors enough to have the surgery, a 30% chance that it will, and a 30% chance that this round of chemo will kill the rest of the cancer and surgery won't be necessary. Then he went hunting and reminded me that we are to live a normal life despite it all.

So off I go to work, then to take Kelsey for a job interview, his driver's test, a meeting at the high school for International Baccelaruate, piano lessons, etc. etc. etc. Saturday morning Levi, Ericka, Kelsey and I are also heading over the pass to meet Jon at our friend's cabin for a weekend of snowmobiling. Sounds like a pretty normal week in the life of a cancer patient and his family :)