At Lorri's request: From a different perspective

It’s Lori B writing the blog today as Lorri asked me to share with readers my perspective after spending a day with Lorri, and evening with Lorri, Jon and Kelsey. It is probably a great deal different than reading Lorri’s notes, and I hope it is at least half as interesting for you. When she first sent me a text this morning to ask me to write it I very quickly had both excitement, and fear, all in the same moment. It is an honor, and with slight anxiety.

First, let me say Happy Birthday, Jon. I will speak for everyone (please give me your permission, everyone) in saying that we all hope you have a great day and that you receive a TON of energy so that you can plan your camping trips for the summer, and we that might get invited to join you!

Jon has been having to go to Seattle for his IV treatments daily and is now on a break from all treatments until April 9th. He is in a great deal of pain, regularly, and on pain management medicine which helps him manage the days, but is challenging in other ways.

All last week Lorri and I were insisting on a bike ride Saturday regardless of the weather. We met in the morning for a smoothie, headed to the Chehalis Western trail in Olympia, and donned our rain gear because at any drop in a degree it would be snowing. We realized the short coming in the plans for the day, but we had to be physically moving somehow, somewhere, as that was the first day Lorri felt close to being well in a couple weeks and I am training for a crazy bike ride in August. Both Lorri and Kelsey have been fighting the winter cold and fatigue going around, which has made it hard for the entire family to manage daily needs of cooking, cleaning, laundry and work. After a short (very short) 6 mile ride in wet, cold headwinds we decided to be proud of our ride from Sleater Kinney to Indian Summer golf course, and go to lunch! While chunks of dirt and mud fell off of our backsides from being flung at us on our bike ride, we made famous friends with our servers at lunch.

After lunch we tripped into the jewelry store, still dropping dirt and bark from our wet clothing, Lorri found a small amount of diamonds beautifully set in a pendant in the shape of a peace sign that called to her, and she answered. It now hangs from her neck. We then went to see if we could make Saturday the largest shopping spree in a day and went to look at new carbon fiber bikes for Lorri. She found a couple to choose from and is excited to be in the market. The men at Old Town Bicycle treated her well and talked about her options. Lorri is not nearly as impulsive as I am, so she will think about it, dream about it, and hopefully have her new carbon frame within a couple weeks.

While we were on a girls retailing day Jon was with brother-in-law Tony having his own shopping day at Cabella’s-the shopping satisfaction for men equivalent to a jewelry store. If Jon can’t be hunting, he can surely be preparing for it. When I arrived at their home for dinner Jon and Tony had catalogues across the table reminding me of the old Sears Christmas Gift circling we used to do as kids. Jon and Tony had decided on a tent, cots for sleeping, chairs that are comfortable (blow up barcalounger, anyone?) discussed the pros and cons of sleeping bags, but spent the majority of their time on the cooking grill/stove/oven! Yes, Jon Nichols wants an oven at the campground and is expecting to have that fresh-baked smell to help bring the animals to the campground for their last supper. Pack your stuff now as these two are building a tent-city that could house the homeless, and in style! Jon, maybe you can rent your tent city to the city of Seattle, and it can still be called Nicholsville, and collect your taxes back! What do you think?

Kelsey and his friend Mike joined us for dinner and I was shocked at how big Kelsey is getting. I know that you are supposed to only say that about kids, not teenagers, but he looked so grown up, and his chest has really filled out! I just saw him a month ago and he didn’t look like this! ZOIKS! Jon, you better be nice to him or he might just be able to kick your butt! Kelsey is living with a 4.0 GPA right now and has decided he wants to pursue the UW for his college of choice. Way to go, Kelsey! You deserve it.

As this week is Spring Break for Kelsey, Lorri and Kelsey are headed to Connecticut to see family. Levi, Dan, Tonya and I will hang out with Jon during the days that he and Levi are not traveling to Riggins, Idaho to deliver the blue Ford truck to Ray who owns the ranch where they hunt in the fall.

After dinner we shared some dark chocolate with wine, or ice cream, or both and laughed a lot to a Dana Carvey DVD that Lorri had picked up. Good humor makes for good medicine. Following dinner was the real dessert for Jon. This comes the time for skin brushing and some massage therapy in front of the fire. Still being licensed in massage therapy I offered to help share the skin brushing duties as my schedule allows while Lorri is gone. This was to be my lesson. Lorri showed me how he likes to be brushed, and worked on a trigger point, and Jon was like a kitten purring and moving so that she was in the right spot. Jon rolled onto his back and Lorri brushed his belly and abdomen. Jon’s ascities has gotten better so that he only looks 6 months pregnant rather than 9. While Jon generously let me massage his abdominal cavity, and belly, Lorri directed me to where his spleen was, and where the tumor lives. Jon talked about how when he was at his appointments there was a mom with her child at the clinic and the child was on the receiving end of the treatment. Jon said that the kids were “just doing all that they could do”, with tears in his eyes. We all shared a quiet moment, and had a hard time choking down the emotions of the image, and then Lorri and I making slight eye contact while we imagined what it was like from Jon’s perspective as well.

Jon is visibly thin, and his energy is very low and he is weak. He still has the sparkle in his eyes and his color was better than I expected. He a good dinner and seemed to be in pretty good spirits.

As I have tried to write the things that are in my mind about what Jon, Lorri, and Kelsey are experiencing as I have seen it, it is harder for me to know about other family members that are not living right there in the house and have their own experiences, yet in a different way. And finally, there are those of us who try to help from a distance and have our own familiarity with cancer and how it affects a family. Whether it is an occasional call, email, text message or blog comment, every effort is important. We all have fears, and comfort for each other and the Nichols family, regardless of how often we might be able to be in touch with Jon and Lorri, Kelsey, Levi, Stacey and Elizabeth. Keep them all close in your hearts and prayers, and love them however, and whenever, you can.